REND YOUR HEART

Joel 2:13 NIV

Rend your heart and not your garments.  Return to the Lord, your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity.  

I have succeeded the goal of the fast.  I have not had added sugars since Tuesday.  I am sure that giving up no added sugars doesn't seem like a big deal and even a bit cliché.  I have done this before back in 2018 gave up no added sugars for a year.  I then allowed myself to have added sugars on the weekends.  As you can imagine, it was like a free pass to eat whatever I wanted in 3 days (the weekend started Friday night and ended Monday morning).  Then it all came to a halt with a major disappointment in my life.  In 2019, my husband and I had received information regarding a decision we had been fasting and praying for years.  The decision was not the disappointment.  It was actually good but it was only a start to a very long process.  The disappointment to me was that the current circumstances were not changing.  I know that you are curious of the circumstances that were so unexpected.  I typed several sentences but nothing that was noteworthy came to be.  My struggle to communicate opened my heart and mind to an area of my life needing exploration to understand and heal. I can tell you that I turned to food, scrolling on social media, and mindless TV shows to dull the pain of disappointment and circumstance of a lifestyle change that I was not prepared for and definitely did not want. This is only a speculation of what I know about me.  I state this in past tense but it is present tense. I am not sure if you read this and think that it sounds familiar to your story or you can relate. 

Whatever it is that you decided to do for this Lenten season, know that it is a big deal.  You made a decision to make a change to bring you closer to God.  It will be full of temptations to turn back to what you chose to fast.  If you chose not to fast, that is okay. Maybe you have chosen not to expect anything or do anything different during this Lenten season.  Are you like me and wrestling with something but unsure of the answer? If we had the answer, then there were not be a need for a wilderness journey, right?

This wilderness journey is not about whether we remove things that keep is apart from God. It is about the presence of God. It is about a time of reflection and stillness.  I read the above scripture and recognize it is a transformation of the heart that God desires.  

He calls me to REND MY HEART from the circumstances of life that bring me down.  I am to RETURN TO THE LORD by seeking his face rather than food or white noise of TV and social media.  God is GRACIOUS to me and I am to be thankful in all circumstances.  He is COMPASSIONATE with my feelings and I can pour out my heart to him.  He is SLOW TO ANGER AND ABOUNDING IN LOVE when I fail.  I can stand on his promises that he RELENTS FROM SENDING CALAMITY.  I can stop my wrong thinking that my circumstances are punishment because that is not how God works. 

Heavenly Father, Thank you for loving me so much that you give me countless opportunities to start over again in your graciousness and compassion demonstrating your abounding love.  Open my eyes to see the opportunities to seek truths and demolish wrong thinking.  Rend my heart from the circumstances that bring me down.  Instill actions in my mind and provide a willing spirit to display graciousness to you. The purpose and the glory be Yours.  In Jesus Name, Amen!

A transformation of our heart to know God, to love God, and help others to know. This is not something for us to do but it is for us to allow God to do in us.  God is in the business of transforming hearts.  I know this, believe this, but there are times in my life that do not reflect this.  How about you? Are you in need of a heart transformation? Where is God calling you to tear your heart? How is God calling you to return to Him? What areas of your heart do you need to know the characteristics of God: gracious? compassionate? slow to anger? abounding in love? Are you standing on his promises that He relents from sending calamity?

Thanks for joining me on this journey and know that I am praying for you as you invite God to be a part of this journey also.